


The Ballad of Quentin and Eliot

by Kh530



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: ( in one ending), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Eliot Waugh needs a break, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Quentin Coldwater/Alice Quinn, Multiple Endings, Quentin Coldwater Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 19:08:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19157149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kh530/pseuds/Kh530
Summary: or The Three Times Eliot Tried to Tell Quentin He Loved Him and the One Time He Finally Did.Both canon compliant and non-compliant because I decided to write two endings because fuck the finale.





	The Ballad of Quentin and Eliot

**Author's Note:**

> So I joined the fandom after hearing about the shit storm that was the finale and decided to watch the series because ??? I hate myself? Regardless, I really have fallen in love with the characters of this show, particularly Eliot and Quentin. Actually going through the entire series and getting up to Quentin's death (especially as a bi mentally ill person) was extremely rough so through writing, I hope to honor Q, Eliot, and the rest of these wonderful characters. 
> 
> Hopefully I will be writing more Magicians stuff in the future so stay tuned!

* * *

 

**The First Time**

* * *

 

Eliot Waugh is not someone who falls in love easily, not romantically or even platonic. So when Quentin Coldwater tells him that they should give a relationship a try, he does what comes natural to him, what he’s been doing since he figured out he was gay when he was 14 years old, he runs. He runs as fast as he can. Because that’s what's easiest, what’s most simple.  

 

Eliot pushes Quentin away and he runs because that’s what he does, it’s what he’s _good_ at. He tries not to pay attention to how Quentin’s face falls, tries not to think about what must be going through Quentin’s head by Eliot rejecting him. He ignores the stinging _He thinks you hate him now. He thinks you never loved him at all_ running through his mind. He has a kingdom to run. Fillory needs him now. Quentin is better off without him anyway.

 

But then he loses Fillory. He loses Fillory like he and Quentin lost Arielle and then Quentin—fucking Quentin Coldwater always having to be the hero— tries to sacrifice himself for them, for magic. He pushes away his shitty thoughts of _he wouldn’t be doing this if you hadn’t run away_ , running through his head, because they’re not useful. Not when Eliot has a gun that can kill that Monster once and for all.

 

But of course that doesn’t work. The gun doesn’t actually kill the Monster, Alice fucking destroys the keys to restore magic, and everything goes to absolute shit because when does anything work in Eliot’s favor?

 

As Eliot sits with his friends, waiting for their memories to be erased, one by one as his friends are rendered unconscious and the librarians take them away, he decides to stop running.

 

Eliot looks over to Q, who was the last person to be dosed with the potion, and reaches out to take his hand.

 

“Q, I—“ Eliot starts before the world goes black. The last thing he sees before he forgets it all is the terrified, pained look on Quentin’s face—and that he is the one causing it.

 

 

 

 

 

**The Second Time**

* * *

 

If anyone is curious, being possessed by an evil centuries old monster really fucking sucks. Especially when Eliot has to go through all his terrible memories to try to find a way out of his own head. Especially, especially when Eliot was pretty sure it had been months, months that he’d been without Margo and Quentin and the rest of their friends (he ignored the voice in the back of his head that told him no one cared he was gone). And _especially_ especially especially since _of-fucking-course_ his worst memory is when he rejected Q, when he _ran away,_ because of course it was. Eliot had fucking killed a guy– two guys actually- one who had been someone he thought he loved. But his worst fucking memory was how he hurt Q. How fucking poetic.   

 

But at least he’s able to break free. That’s something right? But the look on Quentin's face when Q doesn’t realize it’s him and not the Monster breaks his fucking heart. Quentin looks exhausted, more tired then Eliot had ever seen him before—and Eliot had seen him pretty fucked up before. They’d spent fifty years together after all. But what had happened in months when Eliot’s body hadn’t been his own? What had the Monster done while having Eliot’s face on?

 

So he uses ‘peaches and plums’ and ‘proof of concept’ to get Quentin to realize it’s him, that it’s really Eliot and not the Monster, and Quentin’s expression just— changes. Eliot physically sees hope return to Quentin’s eyes and it’s enough to make him want to cry, as much as he loathes to admit it. That brief flicker of hope makes Quentin look like the Q he’s known for years instead of exhausted man standing before him.

 

He promised himself that he’d stop running. And now he’s done—he’s done running from Q, from happiness.

 

“Q, I—“ Eliot’s going to tell him while he has the chance. Of course right when he thinks he has that chance the Monster takes control again, sending Eliot crashing into the front door of the Physical Kids' Cottage.

 

Eliot curses as he stands up, opening the door of the Cottage. At least Quentin knows he’s alive. That’s something. Right?

 

“Did it work?” Charlton asks.

 

Eliot remembers the look of hope on Quentin’s face, the look of recognition.

 

“I hope so,” Eliot says. He thinks about how what must have been happening in these past months. “I really fucking hope so.”

  
  


 

**The Third Time**

* * *

 

Eliot wakes up in total control of his body for the first time in over a year to searing pain and Margo yelling at him. Well some things never change, do they? Still he can’t help but smile at her. God he really fucking missed her.

 

“Well, when you put it so sweetly, Bambi,” Eliot says, grateful to see her smile once again.

 

Margo puts her arms around Eliot’s neck and he groans. He catches a glimpse of his stomach and realizes that’s the source of his pain.

 

“Oh... I’ve been impaled,"Eliot says as he watches the blood continue to soak his...  raccoon shirt? What the fuck had been _wrong_ with the Monster’s fashion sense?

 

“Fuck that is a lot of blood,” he says, before coughing up more. “Oh fuck, that’s even more blood…”

 

And despite the fact that he’s pretty sure he might bleed out, he can’t help but smile when he sees Q. This is his chance. The Monster is finally gone and he is free. And yes, he’s bleeding out but Quentin is right here in front of him and he’ll be damned if he waits any longer.

 

“Quentin, I—“ Eliot starts. And of course that’s when he coughs up more blood and his vision goes dim.

 

The last thing he hears is Quentin and Margo yelling for Penny before he passes out. Can’t he ever catch a damn break?

 

 

 

 

 

**In One Lifetime**

* * *

 

Eliot wakes up and he feels like he’s been stabbed in the chest repeatedly, with a jackhammer. Expect in reality he’d only really been stabbed once with a.. magical axe? He’d have to ask Margo all the details when he actually could think straight.

 

But he turns his head and is surprised to see Julia of all people sitting next to him. Not Margo. Not Quentin. Not even Penny or Alice. But Julia. He looks at her and she looks like she’d be crying, her eyes red, her makeup smudged. 

 

Fear runs through his veins as he asks a question he already knows the answer too. “Where’s Q?”

 

And Julia answers and Q’s gone. Quentin Coldwater is dead and there’s not even a body for them to mourn over. How fucking poetic that _Eliot_ is the one to lose _Quentin_ this time. The one to be left behind while the other dies. But Quentin and Eliot got fifty fucking years together before Eliot died in Fillory. In this time, in this timeline, they didn’t even get five fucking minutes to be together. All because Eliot was too _fucking_ scared to say three simple words.

 

But he doesn’t cry. Julia cries when she tells him but he can’t bring himself to cry. It just doesn’t feel real. So he lets Julia cry and she leaves and Margo comes back—Margo had been sitting with him since after he got out of surgery but was finally convinced by Julia to get some food, it wouldn’t be fair for Margo to have to tell him that Q is dead.

 

And then he gets up, barely able to walk with a cane, to a fucking campfire for Q because, again, it’s not like they have a body or anything to bury. All they have is a fucking campfire to burn the things that mattered to him.

 

And it fucking sucks and Eliot wonders if the pain in his chest is from his stab wound or from losing Q or both. Probably both, but he’s not... really sure at this point. But all he can do is sing a stupid song, burn a fucking peach, and take Alice’s hand. Because she loved him too; Quentin loved both of them and she had to watch Quentin die. Eliot doesn’t know if he could have done that.

 

But the night goes on. The world doesn’t just stop because Quentin’s dead and their group slowly drifts. Even Alice leaves until it is just Eliot and Julia, Margo and Penny hovering nearby. It’s time to go. Eliot’s been sitting here for too long and he struggles to get up, Margo having to give him a hand. Before he leaves he pauses by the fire, nearly burnt out.

 

“I love you, Q.” Eliot mummers into the fire. “I love you. I love you. I love you.” He says it again and again for all the times he should have said it before, but hadn’t. But now it’s too late. The person who needed to hear these words is gone.

 

 

 

 

 

**In a Better Lifetime**

* * *

 

Eliot wakes up and he feels like he’s been stabbed in the chest repeatedly, with a jackhammer. Expect in reality he’d only really been stabbed once with a.. magical axe? He’d have to ask Margo all the details when he actually could think straight.

 

But he turns his head and smiles when he sees Quentin at his side, the man’s head fallen onto his lap. Eliot looks outside and sees the dark sky. He wonders how long he’s been asleep. With a bit of effort and a groan, Eliot raises his hand and sets it through Quentin’s hair, frowning at the shortness of it. He assumed that must have happened when Fogg wiped their memories. _Asshole_ Eliot thinks. He had liked Quentin’s hair long and he knew Quentin had too.

 

Eliot sits there, running his hand through Quentin’s hair for a solid five minutes before Quentin opens his eyes, startled.

 

Quentin jumps back, clearly spooked and concern washes over Eliot’s face.

 

“Q,” Eliot starts. All he wants is to wipe the look of utter fear off of Quentin’s face. “ It’s me. It’s Eliot. I’m back now. “

 

Quentin breaths out slowly as he looks directly into Eliot’s eyes.

 

“Eliot, I—“ Quentin says, looking at the sheet over Eliot’s waist where the wound on his abdomen is, reminding Quentin that the Monster was gone, that Eliot was freed. “You’re wake.”

 

Eliot nods. Both men try to talk at once but Eliot shakes his head.

 

“I need to tell you something that I have been wanting to tell you since before Fogg wiped our memories. “ Eliot says, staring into Quentin’s eyes.

 

Quentin looks uncomfortable, turning away from Eliot and shifting in his seat.  “Eliot—“

 

“I love you, Quentin Coldwater.” Quentin’s head jerks up, his expression shocked.

 

“You said—“

 

“I know what I said.” Eliot says.  “And I lied. I lied because I was scared. And when I’m scared, I run. “ Eliot bites his lip, he doesn’t know what else to say. “Q—“

 

And just like that Quentin leans over and kisses him. Kisses him like he had kissed the memory version of Q. Kisses him like he wished he had kissed Quentin when Quentin had had the tits to admit he loved Eliot.

 

And for the first time in his life, he didn't feel the need to run away. Maybe for once, things would work out in Eliot’s favor.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to give a huge thanks to the RAO Discord for being my muses at 11pm, giving me some awesome advice, and welcoming me into their space. Thank yall for all the love and encouragement!
> 
> I would love love to thank my lovely beta, my best friend Colleen, who helped with editing and came up with the title. Much love!


End file.
